Taking Down Big Bird!

There I was, a cold October of 08', the day after my birth day to be exact. I just got my Red Ryder BB gun, with custom Red Tiger camo, with Holographic Sight and Heart Beat Sensor and my M93 Raffica with extended mags and tactical knife. The time was 21 hundred hours and I was getting dark, so I decided to switch scopes and pull out my Thermal Scope because the game was afoot! Someone told me of a legendary bird called “Big Bird”, and some even go to calling him a hacker! But I was destined to beat him, and I was going to until the end of my times.


Anyway back to the story, I had nothing to do that night because my Microsoft account got banned for 3 months because I prestige hacked. So after spending a few minutes in my barracks I decided to use Marathon Pro, Lightweight Pro, and Commando Pro. The perfect noob class, I could run forever without getting tired and be faster while I do and best part is that I won’t get hurt by falling from heights and have a large range of melee. After a while of walking around I started to get a bleep on my Heart Beat Sensor, I knew I was him! Or so it thought, after following it I got close, when I looked thought my Thermal Scope so if he wasn’t smart enough he would glow hot white. After looking around for a while I saw him, I pressed down Left Stick to hold my breath, and then I aimed and shot. HEADSHOT! Appeared at the top of my HUD! Yes, I have just unlocked Fall Camo! And I also got 2,000 extra XP (experience points). After I went to examine the body I realized that I wasn’t Big Bird, in fact it was Elmo, when I searched around it turned out that he was Smoking drugs behind a tree and he thought I was the police so he ran, so then that’s when I shot!



I had to dispose of the body immediately, so I quickly used a tactical insertion to re-spawn next to him and One Man Army, because someone reported a gunshot. After 15 second of waiting for the re-spawn timer to finish I quickly took out a C4 and planted it next to him, and backed away and pulled to trigger. I knew that the police would use UAV so I used coldblooded to hide, and after I disappeared I changed class but added a Suppressor, and yes, I did hack to have 3 attachments but I’m a nerd that way. I kept walking around when I heard something, and so I started to follow and I knew he was a wise little fellar, by using Ninja, so I couldn’t see him on my Heartbeat sensor. Anyways I kept following to footsteps then suddenly I froze in fear, around a corner I spotted to lasers of a Claymore, I quickly threw a flash grenade at it so I could pass without the big boom. After I threw I saw a nice big “+” on my HUD. I knew I just flashed someone! This was good I threw another but no sign of him, he was hiding.

I followed his big round footsteps until I realized that it wasn’t him, it was Oscar, the mean garbage dude that was feared for him amazing skills at sneaking around. I had to be careful, because he was also known for his notorious martyrdom. So after a while I decided to get a little close then I noticed bird tracks, and not just any Small Bird tracks but Big Bird tracks! Quickly I equipped marathon and started running for a few minutes until I saw a big bloop on my Heart Beat Sensor! This bloop was about four or five times bigger than any normal person’s! Suddenly he disappeared; he equipped Ninja pro and Coldblooded so I couldn’t find where he was! It was a smart move, for a noob. Just then I called in a Care Package and got an AC130, waited a little until I was sure where he was, then hid in a hollow tree and called it in. I knew I only had 30 seconds to use it so quickly I shot the big missile then pressed ▲ and switched to smaller missiles and then machine gun! With only five second left, I shot my big missile! Killed 24 enemy, but not big bird. After I return to my character I used predator missile. While on the way down I aimed to and enemies re-spawn spot. And got 2 more kills, finally a Nuke! Just before I was about to use it Big Bird toggled an Auto Bott and killed me with a throwing knife from across the map! Then after a 15 grueling seconds I re-spawned, then said toodoloo mothaf****! Then pressed the right button and activated nuke! That’s the story on how I absolutely pwned Big Bird with my Red Ryder BB gun!